Consider the consequences of anger
How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.
Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor and stoic philosopher (121 – 180)
I tried to convince myself that my angry outbursts with the children weren’t the end of the world. But it just didn’t feel right. I hated shouting. And I felt so guilty afterwards.
It was really hard to move forward and stay in the space where I believed that the consequences of my anger were negative but I still wasn’t able to stop acting it out destructively.
That was painful.
But I had to go through it.
Change has to be preceded by awareness. You can’t change a problem you don’t know exists.
The only way forward is to go through the pain. You can’t get around it. There really isn’t an easier, softer way.
So take a deep breath and admit that shouting at your kids is doing you and them harm.
And then accept all the help you can while you go through the process of learning to stop doing it.Â
This kind of change is possible. I can assure you of that because I’ve done it. But it doesn’t happen overnight.
Take heart. Making this admission to yourself is a brave step. And it’s a cause for celebration too. You’ve been doing the best you can. If you’ve decided that the time is right for you to learn how to do better, congratulations. The change will be hugely rewarding.
