Keep Smiling

by Jacky, mother of two boys, ages 5 and 3

I’d love to be a yummy mummy who has casual grace and poise

Serene and pristine as I tend to our young boys

I try to do the right thing: breastfeed, puree my own veggies

Make faces out of pizzas, pirate ships from ‘tato wedges

I strive to make my kids talk right, always say their please and thank you,

Calmly put them on the ‘naughty step’, never think ‘if I could spank you…’

I want to stay at home but have a witty repertoire

And always have a recently vacuumed look about my car

My family would think I’m great as we live our life together

And our house would only ever smell of lavender and heather

I’ve just done the weekly shop with baby sick on my left boob

And now I’m being pummelled by a loo roll inner tube

I’m sterilising bottles and opening jars of baby food

And my attempt at making veggies fun is really rather rude

My toddler’s chanting swear words with an uncommon amount of clarity

Whilst a floating poo in the bath is the source of much hilarity

I’m tired

I’m sore

I want to scream ‘No More!’

Fair play to you yummy mummies, I don’t know how you do it

Just please, won’t you tell me? What is the secret to it?


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