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Who’s in charge in your family?

Posted by Samantha on June 4, 2015 in Boundaries, Communication, Connection, Expectations, Respect, Trust

On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there; and both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to Him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does that […]

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What if my children are not ok?

Posted by Samantha on January 14, 2014 in Letting Go, Trust

What if my children grow up and they’re not ok? What if I’m making too many mistakes? What if they grow up and blame me for everything that’s “wrong” with them? What if they drop out of school? Or college?  Or life? What if the pressure is too much for them?   What if none […]

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Should children have best friends?

Posted by Samantha on May 3, 2013 in Happiness, Over-control, Relationships, Trust

Earlier this week I was musing with my husband about whether all this well-meaning parental interference in our children’s friendships was hampering the development of those friendships and in particular, best-friend relationships. I’ve had plenty of conversations with parents who have said that their children do not yet have a solid best-friend. I recall that […]

 
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Helping kids keep up in school

Posted by Samantha on December 8, 2011 in Expectations, School, Trust

I think the most important thing to remember when we wonder how to help our children academically, is that children thrive when we match our expectations of them, to what they can actually do. This is so important, that I’m going to write it again: Children flourish when our expectations and their achievements coincide. Before […]

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Helping children withstand bullying

Posted by Samantha on December 2, 2011 in Bullying, Feelings, Resilience, Trust

A 12-year-old boy killed himself in the UK this week.  It’s been suggested that he may have hung himself because he was teased about being autistic.  It’s not clear that he was autistic, just that he was being teased about it. Last year, a 15-year-old boy from Gloucestershire killed himself after teasing about being gay.  […]

 
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Trust yourself and your kids. Or live in torment.

Posted by Samantha on November 4, 2011 in Letting Go, Trust

You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don’t trust enough. Frank Crane, US Presbyterian Minister and author (1861 – 1928) I suffered a bit of a trust crisis earlier this week.  It often happens towards the end of a holiday! This kind of negative thinking tends […]

 
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Can you trust teenagers?

Posted by Samantha on October 16, 2011 in Expectations, Teenagers, Trust

The people when rightly and fully trusted will return the trust. Abraham Lincoln I’ve noticed that children are often exempted from the category of ‘people’. I don’t want to live in a world where we assume the worst of children. Babies are born trusting.  And trustworthy. Children remain trusting and trustworthy unless they encounter experiences […]

 
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Letting children be themselves

Posted by Samantha on September 30, 2011 in Expectations, Letting Go, Trust

The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them. Thomas Merton, Anglo-American monk, poet, activist (1915 – 1968) How difficult it sometimes is to let our children be perfectly […]

 
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Do you want your child to trust you?

Posted by Samantha on September 27, 2011 in Trust

To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved. George MacDonald, Scottish poet, theologian and Christian minister  (1824 – 1905) When they are little our children trust us instinctively. We retain their trust by being trustworthy. Fortunately it’s not necessary for us to behave in a trustworthy fashion every time for our children […]

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