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Who’s in charge in your family?

Posted by Samantha on June 4, 2015 in Boundaries, Communication, Connection, Expectations, Respect, Trust

On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there; and both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to Him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does that […]

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Stop reasoning with the unreasonable

Posted by Samantha on January 8, 2015 in Being consistent, Character, Consequences, Consistency, penalties, Respect, Spirited Children

On the last morning of her Christmas holidays, my daughter Nia (8) came into my bedroom to say good morning.  She climbed up on my lap and we’d a snuggle and started to chat.  Soon we were on the subject of bedtime.  I was saying that I thought she needed to go to bed earlier.  […]

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Stuck for acceptable consequences? Try lines…

Posted by Samantha on September 20, 2013 in Anger, Boundaries, Change, Character, Conditioning, Consequences, Discipline, Respect, Responsibility

“I will not burp in class.” Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, episode 3 I recently told the story of how I happened upon a new consequence for ridding my house of pestering: the consequence for persistent pestering would be to write a gratitude list of things-mummy-has-done-for-me-lately. It worked. But this is actually part of a wider […]

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Is it old-fashioned to insist on respect?

Posted by Samantha on April 18, 2013 in Boundaries, Respect

Yesterday at a parenting workshop, two parents were discussing their discomfort around insisting their children treat them with respect. This was an uncomfortable idea for them.  It seemed old-fashioned and not quite right somehow.  Exploring the theme further, they discovered that both been raised with the idea “Respect has to be earned”. It reminded me […]

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Now look what you’ve done!!

Posted by Samantha on December 3, 2012 in Boundaries, Discipline, Mistakes, Parenting Dilemmas, Respect, Rules

Last week I had a question from a parent wondering  what to do about a five year old girl who ignored her mother’s requests to stop playing with a snow-globe in the home of someone they were visiting. Fearing a breakage, this Mum upped her requests to a clear (and no doubt reasonable) insistence that […]

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Should we say sorry to our children?

Posted by Samantha on May 28, 2012 in Character, Communication, Connection, Mistakes, Parenting Dilemmas, Relationships, Respect

I was recently asked what my position on saying sorry to children was. Personally, I say sorry to my children on a regular basis.  I do this because like every parent, I make mistakes.  I still say and do things I regret and wish to make amends for.  Most recently, I did it yesterday at […]

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Should you punish disrespectful behaviour?

Yesterday, my daughter taught me another great lesson. If we fail to discipline our children for being disrespectful, we are not serving them well. Nia tried Judo for the first time yesterday.  She loved it.  However, afterwards, she was cranky and rude to me.  I told her that hunger and tiredness were no excuse for […]

 
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Rules and relationships

Posted by Samantha on April 4, 2012 in Relationships, Respect, Rules, Thought for the day

Rules before Relationship = Resentment & Rebellion Relationship before Rules = Respect

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Handling disrespect and backchat

Posted by Samantha on February 8, 2012 in Consequences, Discipline, Punishment, Respect

In our family it’s been a real challenge to find consequences that we can live with and that at least appear to fulfil the requirement of teaching rather than punishing. In the real world negative behaviour is followed by naturally occurring negative consequences.  In families this often takes the form of: children behave badly, parents get upset, then […]

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Be careful how you speak in front of them

Posted by Samantha on January 3, 2011 in Character, Feelings, Respect, Thought for the day

… every word spoken within the hearing of little children tends toward the formation of character. Let parents bear this ever in mind. Hosea Ballou, US clergyman and writer (1771 – 1852) I used to like telling stories of bath-time battles and school-run woes.  I liked hearing them too.  It helped me to feel normal.  I […]

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