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How much whingeing is enough?

Posted by Samantha on March 3, 2014 in Feelings, Happiness, Ignoring Behaviour, Parenting Dilemmas

I recently overheard an exchange between a father and daughter at our local swimming pool. It began with a Dad trying to blow-dry his daughter’s hair and not getting as much cooperation as he needed.  His daughter wasn’t facing him or staying still.  She was around 8 years old so it wasn’t an unreasonable request […]

 
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Helping kids with big changes – moving house, school or country

Posted by Samantha on June 10, 2013 in Change, Communication, Feelings, Moving house

How should we prepare children for big moves – like a new school, or a new house, or living in a new country? There’s a lot of advice out there: keep children involved in the process, get them to imagine the change, have them keep a diary of all the steps along the way, talk […]

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Do you shout when you get mad?

Posted by Samantha on February 15, 2013 in Anger, Conditioning, Consequences, Feelings

My experience working with parents has shown me that lots of us use dumping (think ranting/shouting/lecturing) as a way of managing our uncomfortable feelings. Learning how to stop dumping my own feelings (on my husband, my children, my parents, my siblings, my friends) has been one of my most uncomfortable and difficult lessons in life. […]

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When other adults talk about YOUR children

Posted by Samantha on April 19, 2012 in Communication, Feelings, Parenting Dilemmas, Teasing

Do you ever connect with adult strangers at the expense of your children? Last week in the supermarket my chatty daughter struck up a conversation with the check-out assistant about her Easter holidays.  The assistant was being friendly when she said (half to my daughter and son, half to me) “I bet your Mummy will […]

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How do I help my kids be resilient?

Posted by Samantha on January 21, 2012 in Feelings, Resilience

Resilience is the word psychologists use to talk about the ability to get back up after you’ve been knocked down and keep going.  I think of it as a kind of psychological strength. It’s been found to be a key indicator of who will thrive rather than falter following difficult or traumatic experiences. I think […]

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Helping children withstand bullying

Posted by Samantha on December 2, 2011 in Bullying, Feelings, Resilience, Trust

A 12-year-old boy killed himself in the UK this week.  It’s been suggested that he may have hung himself because he was teased about being autistic.  It’s not clear that he was autistic, just that he was being teased about it. Last year, a 15-year-old boy from Gloucestershire killed himself after teasing about being gay.  […]

 
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Mummy, am I a crybaby?

This was what my 7 year old son asked me last night just before bedtime.  I paused for long enough (was it half a second or was it longer?) to realise that my answer was going to be really significant and that it better cut the mustard. (To tell the truth I’m not totally sure […]

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When your child is unhappy

Posted by Samantha on October 5, 2011 in Empathy, Feelings, Happiness, Unhappiness

Our goal in parenting is to guide our children to peaceful and contented lives.  It’s a long-term goal.  Our children may be desperately unhappy in the moment but that doesn’t mean we’re not still guiding them towards happiness. In fact, if we’re doing our job right and keeping our long-term goal in mind, then it’s […]

 
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Do you allow your children be angry?

Posted by Samantha on September 14, 2011 in Anger, Change, Feelings

You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger….Let a man overcome anger by love. Buddha This is a tough lesson but the truth of it is entirely inescapable. As a child I was taught in religion classes in school that I would be punished FOR my anger.  And […]

 
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Let’s tell our children the truth

Posted by Samantha on August 24, 2011 in Empathy, Feelings, Love, Telling the truth

When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it…always Mahatma Gandhi, ideological leader of the Indian independence movement (1869 – 1948) When […]

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