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Who’s in charge in your family?

Posted by Samantha on June 4, 2015 in Boundaries, Communication, Connection, Expectations, Respect, Trust

On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there; and both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to Him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does that […]

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Discipline is part of love

Posted by Samantha on December 14, 2012 in Discipline, Expectations

Over the past 50 years psychological research has increasingly confirmed what parents have always known – some children are inherently more “difficult” than others. However, it is not the case that parents of these more spirited children should not expect the children to eventually learn more appropriate behaviour. We make it more difficult for these […]

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Helping kids keep up in school

Posted by Samantha on December 8, 2011 in Expectations, School, Trust

I think the most important thing to remember when we wonder how to help our children academically, is that children thrive when we match our expectations of them, to what they can actually do. This is so important, that I’m going to write it again: Children flourish when our expectations and their achievements coincide. Before […]

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My baby won’t sleep through!

Posted by Samantha on November 29, 2011 in Bedtime & Sleeping, Expectations, Parenting Dilemmas, Worry

One issue that parents nowadays persistently worry about is sleeping. I think there are many reasons why we worry and fret about our babies’ and children’s sleeping patterns. For starters, in the early stages of our baby’s life we’re often sleep deprived.  It’s not easy to live our modern-day lifestyles on insufficient sleep.  We can […]

 
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Stop saying “Be good”, say “Have fun” instead

Posted by Samantha on November 12, 2011 in Change, Communication, Consequences, Expectations

This week I’ve been noticing how many parents are still using negative language with their children. This focus on the negative rather than the positive is rife in our society so it’s not at all surprising that it permeates our parenting as well. For the past three years I’ve been practicing transforming my language so […]

 
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Can you trust teenagers?

Posted by Samantha on October 16, 2011 in Expectations, Teenagers, Trust

The people when rightly and fully trusted will return the trust. Abraham Lincoln I’ve noticed that children are often exempted from the category of ‘people’. I don’t want to live in a world where we assume the worst of children. Babies are born trusting.  And trustworthy. Children remain trusting and trustworthy unless they encounter experiences […]

 
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Letting children be themselves

Posted by Samantha on September 30, 2011 in Expectations, Letting Go, Trust

The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them. Thomas Merton, Anglo-American monk, poet, activist (1915 – 1968) How difficult it sometimes is to let our children be perfectly […]

 
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Playing with fire?

Posted by Samantha on August 9, 2011 in Boundaries, Expectations, Letting Go, Safety

My children are, as I type, in our garden playing with matches.  They are five and seven.  Their curiosity about fire has been growing since encountering fire in their Forest School (toasting marshmallows) and their first camping trips with us.  So we have expanded the boundaries around fire and matches in the garden. In the […]

 
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The power of attraction for parents

Posted by Samantha on August 4, 2011 in Expectations, Letting Go

A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do. Lois Wyse, American advertising executive, writer and journalist (1926 – 2007) I am not immune to noticing the “terrible things” my children do.  I really wish […]

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