No-one really wins a power struggle
I live very close to a primary school. One morning as I came out my front door, Henry*, and his Granny and Grandad were getting out of their car. Henry started whining. “I don’t want to park here”, Henry moaned at his Granny. My ears started tingling. “How will Granny handle this?” I wondered. “Well, […]
Using consequences with a little toy-thrower
Yesterday I heard a great real life example of how boundaries, backed up with fair and reasonable consequences for violating them, provide a sense of safety for children, which results in improved behaviour. Borrowing an idea that had worked for another parent, this Mom told her young boy – who has developed a habit of […]
Time Out….For Parents
Here’s a story from a Mum I was working with this week. This Mum’s attention was attracted by the sound of her 10 month old daughter crying. She followed the sound and discovered her two daughters in the bathroom. The baby’s head and shoulders were covered in talcum powder. Her four year old daughter was […]
“He did it deliberately!” Dealing with sibling woes
Here’s a story from yesterday. It’s post-school and pre-dinner. Never the greatest time of day for my two hungry children! I’m preparing our meal in the kitchen and the next thing I know there’s a 5 year old year old girl standing wailing at me. It seems her 7 year old brother has knocked over […]
Help! My kids won’t let me go out…
I remember when my husband finally noticed the pattern between our children’s response to being left with a babysitter and HIS behaviour earlier in the day! If he’d had a great day hanging out with them and generally been attentive to them then they bid us good-bye with kisses and waves and proclamations of love […]
Help! It’s pass the parcel!
Here’s a quote from The Telegraph last weekend “Pass the parcel must be ruthlessly rigged to avoid tears”. I guess the parent who thought of putting a packet of sweets between the layers of pass the parcel was very pleased with the innovation. I remember when I first encountered it I thought “oh, nice idea!” […]
Mummy, am I a crybaby?
This was what my 7 year old son asked me last night just before bedtime. I paused for long enough (was it half a second or was it longer?) to realise that my answer was going to be really significant and that it better cut the mustard. (To tell the truth I’m not totally sure […]
When your child is unhappy
Our goal in parenting is to guide our children to peaceful and contented lives. It’s a long-term goal. Our children may be desperately unhappy in the moment but that doesn’t mean we’re not still guiding them towards happiness. In fact, if we’re doing our job right and keeping our long-term goal in mind, then it’s […]
Let’s tell our children the truth
When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it…always Mahatma Gandhi, ideological leader of the Indian independence movement (1869 – 1948) When […]
When your child says “I HATE you!”…?
Yesterday, after I picked my daughter up from camp, I spent the next few hours fielding a variety of childish behaviour that ranged from a mildly off-putting bossy tone of voice, through an assortment of teenage-style eye-rolling, right up to the entirely unhelpful “I hate you”. For those who need a reminder, she’s five. A […]
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