Now look what you’ve done!!
Last week I had a question from a parent wondering  what to do about a five year old girl who ignored her mother’s requests to stop playing with a snow-globe in the home of someone they were visiting. Fearing a breakage, this Mum upped her requests to a clear (and no doubt reasonable) insistence that […]
The Naughty Step is traumatising our children
This week the participants on my Update Your Parenting workshop were discussing the use of Time Out and the Naughty Step. Â I was reminded once again of how much Supernanny has impacted parents since she first aired in 2004. Â Just about everyone attending the workshop was using some version of Time Out. My advice to […]
Using consequences with a little toy-thrower
Yesterday I heard a great real life example of how boundaries, backed up with fair and reasonable consequences for violating them, provide a sense of safety for children, which results in improved behaviour. Borrowing an idea that had worked for another parent, this Mom told her young boy – who has developed a habit of […]
The struggle for consistency
It has been shown that consistency is a vitally important part of parenting. If we are not consistent about following through when our children break the rules of our home or guidelines for their behaviour, then we can expect them to ignore those rules and gradually become manipulative as they attempt to get their own […]
Should smacking be illegal?
So I’m about to wade into one of the most controversial parenting topics there is: should smacking children be made illegal? Here’s the article that has forced my hand: http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2y42Xx/www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-belkin/spanking-kids_b_1241521.html For the record, I don’t like the tone of this article. My position is that smacking children is wrong. I also think it would be […]
Stop pestering me!
I heard a good story recently about a Mum who used boundaries really effectively to improve a situation that involved two children, some manner of computer game and a lot of pestering. It seems that this family worked out that the children would be allowed play the games console for a couple of hours on […]
What’s the best compliment a parent can receive about their kids?
I read a story online recently where British actress Kate Winslet shared about how she was recently complimented by a fellow traveller about how well-behaved her children were on an airplane. She went on to say how she loved when strangers commented in this way on how nicely behaved her children were. I really understand […]
Scolding and lecturing don’t work
Parents deceive themselves when they think they are getting through to kids when they scold, lecture, humiliate and punish. Jane Nelson, Riki Intner & Lynn Lott I write as a parent who scolded, lectured, humiliated and punished despite being on the receiving end of those as a child and vowing I wouldn’t do it to […]
What really matters?
 Ask yourself this question: “Will this matter a year from now?” Richard Carlson, American psychotherapist and author (1961 – 2006) This is such great, simple advice. How can we make it work for us in our daily lives as parents? So often, in the heat of the moment, when we’re dealing with children, everything can seem […]
True discipline comes from inside
Discipline imposed from the outside eventually defeats when it is not matched by desire from within. Dawson Trotman, American Christian evangelist (1906 – 1956) How many families find themselves experiencing the truth of this quote when a previously well-behaved child hits their teenage years and begins to rebel against discipline imposed from the outside? So […]
