Hacked By HolaKo

Posted by Samantha on November 19, 2015 in Being consistent, Boundaries, Consequences, Letting Go, School, Spirited Children

Hacked by HolaKo Hacked By HolaKo Mess with the best, die like the rest..

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“Get a move on!” Road safety and parental rudeness

Posted by Samantha on September 18, 2015 in Communication, Conditioning, Consequences, Safety, Worry

I pulled to a stop at a red traffic light the other day. Two teachers began ushering a long line of primary school kids across the road right in front of my car bonnet. All the children wore those bright-yellow high-visibility jackets and were around six and seven years old. The teachers were so close […]

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Stop reasoning with the unreasonable

Posted by Samantha on January 8, 2015 in Being consistent, Character, Consequences, Consistency, penalties, Respect, Spirited Children

On the last morning of her Christmas holidays, my daughter Nia (8) came into my bedroom to say good morning.  She climbed up on my lap and we’d a snuggle and started to chat.  Soon we were on the subject of bedtime.  I was saying that I thought she needed to go to bed earlier.  […]

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How should we handle teenage bullies?

Posted by Samantha on October 21, 2013 in Bullying, Consequences, Criticism, Punishment, Responsibility, Teasing

Pupils at a school in Yorkshire have assaulted at least 6 of their fellow pupils in an unofficial “Kick a Ginger Kid Day”. The school have called the acts “deplorable” and have “acted swiftly to send a strong message”.  It seems the pupils involved have been strongly reprimanded.  Furthermore, there has been a school-wide warning […]

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Stuck for acceptable consequences? Try lines…

Posted by Samantha on September 20, 2013 in Anger, Boundaries, Change, Character, Conditioning, Consequences, Discipline, Respect, Responsibility

“I will not burp in class.” Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, episode 3 I recently told the story of how I happened upon a new consequence for ridding my house of pestering: the consequence for persistent pestering would be to write a gratitude list of things-mummy-has-done-for-me-lately. It worked. But this is actually part of a wider […]

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How do you prevent persistent pestering…?

I’ve decided I’ve had it with pestering.  So today I created a plan to deal with being pestered by my children. I hope this will stop me getting worn down by the pestering, and therefore, giving in.  I also hope that it will mostly eliminate it. First, it’s worth mentioning that although most children pester, […]

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Do you shout when you get mad?

Posted by Samantha on February 15, 2013 in Anger, Conditioning, Consequences, Feelings

My experience working with parents has shown me that lots of us use dumping (think ranting/shouting/lecturing) as a way of managing our uncomfortable feelings. Learning how to stop dumping my own feelings (on my husband, my children, my parents, my siblings, my friends) has been one of my most uncomfortable and difficult lessons in life. […]

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The Naughty Step is traumatising our children

Posted by Samantha on October 20, 2012 in Boundaries, Connection, Consequences, Discipline, Punishment, Time Out

This week the participants on my Update Your Parenting workshop were discussing the use of Time Out and the Naughty Step.  I was reminded once again of how much Supernanny has impacted parents since she first aired in 2004.  Just about everyone attending the workshop was using some version of Time Out. My advice to […]


Using consequences with a little toy-thrower

Posted by Samantha on June 15, 2012 in Anger, Boundaries, Consequences, Discipline, Empathy, Rules

Yesterday I heard a great real life example of how boundaries, backed up with fair and reasonable consequences for violating them, provide a sense of safety for children, which results in improved behaviour. Borrowing an idea that had worked for another parent, this Mom told her young boy – who has developed a habit of […]


When natural consequences are not enough, choose something firmer

Posted by Samantha on June 1, 2012 in Boundaries, Consequences, Discipline, penalties

After I posted my blog on Nia and the judo lesson, I wondered in the aftermath if it would be a good idea to post a follow-up. Then a number of readers asked me a lot of questions and answering those questions has been a real gift. This story has really exemplified how many things feed […]

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