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Hacked By HolaKo

Posted by Samantha on November 19, 2015 in Being consistent, Boundaries, Consequences, Letting Go, School, Spirited Children

Hacked by HolaKo Hacked By HolaKo Mess with the best, die like the rest..

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Who’s in charge in your family?

Posted by Samantha on June 4, 2015 in Boundaries, Communication, Connection, Expectations, Respect, Trust

On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there; and both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to Him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does that […]

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Choosing Your Battles

Posted by Samantha on March 28, 2014 in Boundaries, Character, Over-control, Spirited Children

Last night my daughter and I achieved a milestone.  For the first time, EVER, she was able to go with my suggestions about how to make an Easter card for her teacher. Nia, as usual, had her own very clear ideas about what to make and how to do it.  I had different ideas which […]

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Stuck for acceptable consequences? Try lines…

Posted by Samantha on September 20, 2013 in Anger, Boundaries, Change, Character, Conditioning, Consequences, Discipline, Respect, Responsibility

“I will not burp in class.” Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, episode 3 I recently told the story of how I happened upon a new consequence for ridding my house of pestering: the consequence for persistent pestering would be to write a gratitude list of things-mummy-has-done-for-me-lately. It worked. But this is actually part of a wider […]

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How do you prevent persistent pestering…?

I’ve decided I’ve had it with pestering.  So today I created a plan to deal with being pestered by my children. I hope this will stop me getting worn down by the pestering, and therefore, giving in.  I also hope that it will mostly eliminate it. First, it’s worth mentioning that although most children pester, […]

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Is it old-fashioned to insist on respect?

Posted by Samantha on April 18, 2013 in Boundaries, Respect

Yesterday at a parenting workshop, two parents were discussing their discomfort around insisting their children treat them with respect. This was an uncomfortable idea for them.  It seemed old-fashioned and not quite right somehow.  Exploring the theme further, they discovered that both been raised with the idea “Respect has to be earned”. It reminded me […]

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What do you do when your child’s behaviour sucks? Use consequences…

Posted by Samantha on March 22, 2013 in Boundaries, Conditioning, Courage

Parents: Yes, it is reasonable to be upset and angry if your children are being persistently defiant.  I know, it’s unfashionable to call it defiance.  But whatever we call it – not cooperating / not going with the flow / being rude / being a pain in the ass / being disrespectful / being a […]

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No-one really wins a power struggle

Posted by Samantha on January 24, 2013 in Boundaries, Empathy, Relationships

I live very close to a primary school.  One morning as I came out my front door, Henry*, and his Granny and Grandad were getting out of their car.  Henry started whining. “I don’t want to park here”, Henry moaned at his Granny.  My ears started tingling.  “How will Granny handle this?” I wondered. “Well, […]

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Now look what you’ve done!!

Posted by Samantha on December 3, 2012 in Boundaries, Discipline, Mistakes, Parenting Dilemmas, Respect, Rules

Last week I had a question from a parent wondering  what to do about a five year old girl who ignored her mother’s requests to stop playing with a snow-globe in the home of someone they were visiting. Fearing a breakage, this Mum upped her requests to a clear (and no doubt reasonable) insistence that […]

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The Naughty Step is traumatising our children

Posted by Samantha on October 20, 2012 in Boundaries, Connection, Consequences, Discipline, Punishment, Time Out

This week the participants on my Update Your Parenting workshop were discussing the use of Time Out and the Naughty Step.  I was reminded once again of how much Supernanny has impacted parents since she first aired in 2004.  Just about everyone attending the workshop was using some version of Time Out. My advice to […]

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