Who’s in charge in your family?
On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there; and both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to Him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does that […]
Is it old-fashioned to insist on respect?
Yesterday at a parenting workshop, two parents were discussing their discomfort around insisting their children treat them with respect. This was an uncomfortable idea for them. It seemed old-fashioned and not quite right somehow. Exploring the theme further, they discovered that both been raised with the idea “Respect has to be earnedâ€. It reminded me […]
No-one really wins a power struggle
I live very close to a primary school.  One morning as I came out my front door, Henry*, and his Granny and Grandad were getting out of their car. Henry started whining. “I don’t want to park hereâ€, Henry moaned at his Granny. My ears started tingling. “How will Granny handle this?†I wondered. “Well, […]
Now look what you’ve done!!
Last week I had a question from a parent wondering  what to do about a five year old girl who ignored her mother’s requests to stop playing with a snow-globe in the home of someone they were visiting. Fearing a breakage, this Mum upped her requests to a clear (and no doubt reasonable) insistence that […]
The Naughty Step is traumatising our children
This week the participants on my Update Your Parenting workshop were discussing the use of Time Out and the Naughty Step. Â I was reminded once again of how much Supernanny has impacted parents since she first aired in 2004. Â Just about everyone attending the workshop was using some version of Time Out. My advice to […]
Using consequences with a little toy-thrower
Yesterday I heard a great real life example of how boundaries, backed up with fair and reasonable consequences for violating them, provide a sense of safety for children, which results in improved behaviour. Borrowing an idea that had worked for another parent, this Mom told her young boy – who has developed a habit of […]
Stop pestering me!
I heard a good story recently about a Mum who used boundaries really effectively to improve a situation that involved two children, some manner of computer game and a lot of pestering. It seems that this family worked out that the children would be allowed play the games console for a couple of hours on […]
Letting children test their limits
Truth is not only violated by falsehood; it may be equally outraged by silence Henri F. Amiel, Swiss philosopher and poet (1821 – 1881) Where are all our children gone? Last week I began to feel like I was in Vulgaria from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang – a land where children are forbidden. It used […]
Can you love your kids without getting tired?
Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired. Mother Teresa, Roman Catholic nun and Nobel Peace prize winning humanitarian.  20th century saint (1910 – 1997) It’s hard for me to love without getting tired. Some mummy-friends of mine refer to […]
When your child says “I HATE you!”…?
Yesterday, after I picked my daughter up from camp, I spent the next few hours fielding a variety of childish behaviour that ranged from a mildly off-putting bossy tone of voice, through an assortment of teenage-style eye-rolling, right up to the entirely unhelpful “I hate youâ€. For those who need a reminder, she’s five. A […]
