Welcome to BeyondSupernanny – where you can find some of the support that every parent needs, and parenting advice that works.
I know sometimes it seems as though children are such hard work: they might seem manipulative or as if they are deliberately pushing our buttons. We’re told to be consistent and calm, not to reinforce bad behaviour with attention, and to put them in time out when they behave badly.
I think this emphasis on behaviour management interferes with our understanding that children are naturally fun, playful, imaginative, curious, loving, generous, forgiving and kind. And they are seeking our love and guidance every moment of every day.
Since actually having children (as opposed to knowing about child development theories!) I have come to a number of important conclusions.
Loving our children unconditionally is a wonderful goal. However it can be hard to give children as much unconditional love as they need. As parents we need to be calm and empathic – but again, both can be pretty difficult to achieve for tired, harassed parents! It can be hard to balance our needs with the needs of our children.
“Your session on tantrum tools gives me hope and a great place to start. I really appreciate you mentioning the ineffectiveness of behaviourism (which has led some of my style and not worked up to now!) as well as your references to psychological findings describing the ways that children are. Your talk is clear and organized while being candid and comforting. It’s what parents like me need to hear. It also makes good sense and fits with my recent realization that the Supernanny’s mantra has not worked for us at all up till now and that we’ve been poised (and desperate) for an entirely new approach. This one fits with us and gives me hope.”
Traci (Mother of 3) Calgary, Canada
There’s no doubt that children require bucket loads of patience, understanding, kindness and love. So do parents!
And so I invite you to look around the website and I hope that you find something useful here to support you and your family on your journey together.
With best wishes,
Samantha O’Reilly Duggan, PhD